


The Painted Room

by wildwinterwitch



Series: Cloisters [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drabbles, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 14:49:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwinterwitch/pseuds/wildwinterwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Advent Calendar 2009: drabbles accompanying "Cloisters", prompted by my readers on LJ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Painted Room

One  
Life and Death

Rose lay under my coat, unmoving. I anxiously called her name, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. I could never forgive myself if anything should happen to her. She had gone ghostly pale when the TARDIS had cut her off.

I had felt the loss quite keenly too, but I had been able to ignore it.

I wanted to weep with relief when Rose stirred and sat up. Her eyes were so full of concern and hope that it broke my hearts when I had to tell her about my TARDIS, when my words made my worst nightmare real.

 

Two  
Bed

Rose was very quiet during our search and only rarely offered her opinion. There was the language barrier, of course, but still she seemed oddly withdrawn. The longer our search took, the less my heart was in it. I didn’t really care about where we lived; this was for her.

But then came Sho, and it was different. It was alive in a way the others hadn’t been. And the name was perfect: it described the nest of a Ruulim bird that chose one mate for life.

And she wanted Sho. I took her hand, and things looked a bit brighter.

 

Three  
Hunger

I ate to humour her. At least that was the plan. Who would have guessed that I actually liked Ruulim cheese? I’d tried it before, but I didn’t remember its taste to be as good as it was on her sandwich, combined with the sweet and sour taste of sarum jam. And the bread was divine, although it was only toasted.

"It's good," I admitted, running the tip of my tongue over my lips.

She covered my hand, and my left heart skipped a beat. She had been so... distant. I wanted her back. So I taught her Ruulim.

 

Four  
Weather

I wanted to weep with frustration and loss, but that would have alarmed Rose.

On day ten I had to sleep, and I dreamed. Luckily, miraculously, she didn’t hear me.

Working in the garden helped to get rid of my nervous energy. I started to go running while she slept. We explored the city a little, and I bought Rose children’s books at the market to teach her. She was a quick study, brilliant as ever, and I enjoyed our lessons.

By day thirty, my loss fuelled my dreams, but at least I didn’t hurt as much when I was awake.

 

Five  
Memories

We didn’t talk while we were getting dinner ready. I watched him, and for a moment I thought he’d withdrawn, that by the time we sat down he’d find some way of avoiding the topic.

We watered the pot-in-pot fridge, and as he poured water into the sand, his eyes were still that sad brown. I’d always loved his eyes, because they could be like an open book.

Our eyes met, and he flashed me a brief, reassuring smile. I raised my hand to cup his cheek, but stopped myself mid-gesture. I didn’t want to scare him away. So I smiled.

 

Six  
Kiss

I was terrified of sleeping, so I pushed my cycle as far as possible. The images haunting my dreams were horrible. They were always the same, of Rose amidst the flames of the Time War. They licked at her skin, and when I tried to save her, I was frozen.

One night, Rose just turned away and left. It was as simple as that.

I woke with her hands pinning me down, promising she wasn’t going to leave me. She was in my arms, warm and vibrant, but I needed to kiss her to make sure this wasn’t another cruel dream.

 

Seven  
Food

In the kitchen, I got out all the ingredients I needed for Rose’s surprise. While she had been silent on our way home, her small gestures had instilled in me hope and joy. Still, I deeply regretted having left her like that in the morning. I cursed myself. If there was one person I could trust, it was Rose. And there I’d gone and taken that from her.

The pale dough looked pathetic on the table before me. After last night, she deserved so much more than pasta. Well, at the very least it was a beginning. Better than words.

 

Eight  
Trust (Part 1)

“Curious yet?” he asked at lunchtime.

“Nope.”

Which, of course, was a lie, and he probably knew it. There was that mischievous sparkle in his eyes, and he pulled me towards him from behind to plant a kiss where my shirt had slipped and exposed my shoulder.

I turned my head, and I was tempted to tell him, but he kissed the corner of my mouth.

“I can’t wait,” he said.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.”

He looked mock-offended. “Don’t you trust me, Rose Tyler?”

“Always,” I whispered.

He kissed me again.

 

Eight  
Trust (Part 2)

She could still hear me, but she didn’t give me an answer. When I smoothed my hand against the Time Rotor, it didn’t feel malialion any more. She was running a fever, and she smelled like fire. Still, she wouldn’t talk to me.

A low thrum rumbled through me. Accalein was the word that formed in my mind.

My head snapped up and I saw her standing there, a dark shape against the bright rectangle of the door.

Ngudia sam were the words that filled my hearts, and for a moment I relished the fact that I couldn’t breathe.

 

Nine  
Pain

My hand was shaking so much I had to put the glass down. I was so relieved that Rose wasn’t seriously injured that being angry was hard.

I cleaned up, and took care of the cut in her palm. I remembered she probably shouldn’t be sleeping, so I settled on the bed next to her with a book to keep an eye on her.

I napped, once, wrapping an arm around her, so I’d know when something was the matter. She woke several times, thirsty, and I supported her head to help her drink, whispering comforting, loving words to her.

 

Ten  
Betrayal

I couldn’t stay with her.

For the first time since I’d asked her to come with me I found the idea of being close to her... not unbearable, that’s too harsh a word, but... well, it made me uncomfortable.

She was disappointed in me. I knew it wasn’t that she didn’t trust me, because she did. But I’d disappointed her, somehow, despite everything I did to build a new home. The one time I wanted to do something for her... and it backfired royally.

I wondered why she put up with me at all.

I couldn’t bear her comforting arms around me.

 

Eleven  
Comfort

I had wanted to keep this close to my hearts. As I’d sat with the TARDIS that night I realised that we hadn’t listened to each other, both of us too hurt. But really, her frankness was disarming. And a relief.

I so wanted this to work, but I didn’t know how.

“Will you let me try again?”

My brilliant Rose. Sometimes, I’m so in awe of her. She knows exactly what to do. I want to give myself over to her, again and again. Sometimes, that frightens me.

I gazed at our hands, and suddenly, I understood.

 

Twelve  
Holiday

I wanted nothing more than be with Rose. At first I’d been sorry she wasn’t here, but now I was glad.

“The accalein,” Setiu had snorted.

I hated having to betray Rose like this, but something told me I’d better shut up.

Someone had the grace to change topics, and after a while, Tayar liberated me from Setiu’s clutches. The brief conversation I had with him was refreshing, and we left together.

On my way home, I passed the Night Market. The tinkling of the wind-chimes at one of the stalls reminded me of Sho. Rose would love them.

 

Thirteen  
Making Up

Before I could formulate a clear thought in my head – that’s what she did to me – she gave me the reason. I buried my nose in her hair as I moved us around gently.

I so wanted to be with her. I loved making love to her, getting to know her, making her sigh and whimper. She had that delightful little sound when I brushed my tongue over the right spot, just so. I couldn’t get enough of it. Of her.

The way she moved beneath me, or above me, or around me – she knew me so well.

 

Fifteen  
Five Senses

He was sound asleep when the air became chilly. Yet, I paused for a few beats before I drew the thin sheet over our naked bodies. I watched the regular rise and fall of his chest, smiled at his slightly parted lips, and wanted to kiss the dark crescents of his eyelashes, and each of his fingers as they curled on the pillow.

He was so beautiful, my Doctor, so innocent and exhausted, his cock limp between his thighs. If I were to have his child, I thought, but then stopped myself. It just wasn’t possible, not so soon after my period.

 

Seventeen  
Moment of Clarity

Rose's arms felt wonderful, and her heartbeat was soothing although she was upset. She began to rub my back, and I calmed down. I was so tired. All I wanted to do was lie down, with her in my arms, and sleep. I didn't want to be without Rose ever again. She was the last bit of home I had left.

A thought formed in my mind, and when she offered her help, again, and so sincerely, the thought became words and they became sound.

I was a bit shocked, in a good way, relieved, really, when I'd said them.

 

Eighteen  
Drink

I stared at Rose’s “wedding photo”, her favourite dress cut out from a magazine, with her own picture pasted in. One of her front teeth was missing, she had a pair of dark pigtails, and the veil was a piece of tulle.

There’d been no groom back then. The Doctor laid time and the universe at her feet. He was... a very special man. Lonely, no matter what she did. But that’s my Rose.

She would want me to be there, on her wedding day. It hurt, both me and her, that I couldn’t. I didn’t dare think why.

 

Nineteen  
Drunk

She did wonderful things to me with her lips and her mouth, her teeth even, ever so carefully. I wanted to thrust into her, but she was resting against my hip to restrain me. I curled my fist into a cushion, afraid of hurting her, because my fingers were in her hair.

I cursed myself for having had too much wine. I wanted to share this with her, but I wasn’t sure it would work. I slid my fingers forward to touch her, just in time...

Our pleasure was sudden, powerful.

“You,” she whispered, breathless, “are a wonderful man.”

 

Twenty  
Tattoo

I couldn’t possibly wear a ring, not once we were travelling again, and what was the point of having a symbol of our marriage if no one could see it? The idea of her name on my skin, inked there in blue, was so much more appealing. Her skin bearing my name... it was equally erotic.

I’d have to tell her about my name, my true name. It was the most precious gift I could give her. Like so many other cultures Gallifreyans believed in the magic of one’s true name. Only your parents and your soul-mate ever knew it.

 

Twenty-One  
Blood

Setiu jumped, startled, as the door slammed, and I chose that moment to briefly close my eyes. That was Rose, seeing me flirt with another woman. A woman she hated. I had sensed her presence more than I’d heard her return. We had enjoyed the link quite often that past weekend, and I could still feel her, not matter how hard I tried to shield myself.

I sighed inwardly, praying – me!, praying – to whoever would listen that I would get a chance to explain, that she’d understand. That she didn’t do something stupid in the spur of the moment.

 

Twenty-Two  
Scars

I removed the soaked sheet. It was the second one I’d put over her, but her fever was burning her up. I gently touched her forehead, wanted to wrap a wet towel round her wrist, but she moaned in agony. Her eyes were glassy and wild.

Helpless, I roughly brushed away my tears.

She screamed and kicked, but somehow I managed to gather her up and carry her to the bathroom, where I climbed, still dressed, into the tepid bath with her. She relaxed almost at once, and I dared kiss her flushed cheek before I pulled her beneath the surface with me.

 

Twenty-Three  
Kissing in the Rain

I didn’t want to remember. But here she sat, asking me as I rubbed the salve into her skin. I couldn’t, didn’t want to lie to her. She remembered.

I’d had to tie her down once her skin started to burn with the mysterious illness. She’d clawed at her skin already, when the itch and the pain had become unbearable. Her nails, although short, had drawn blood, and she was twisting and turning and hitting me as she fought against the restraints.

I’d wiped the blood off the corner of my mouth and soldiered on, until she was merely whimpering.

 

Twenty-Four  
Sated

She was so quiet, so beautiful.

“Do something!” Fenia shrieked.

Pulling away the pillows from beneath Rose’s head, I tilted back her head and covered her nose and mouth with mine. “Breathe!” I begged silently, sharing air with her.

“Please, Doctor!”

I aimed the sonic at her heart, and for an awful moment I wanted to give Rose the rest her body demanded.

But I couldn’t. How could I? I’d promised her everything would be all right. Without her, I would be no one, adrift in time and space.

The sonic whirred to life, and Rose convulsed, gasping.

 

Twenty-Five  
Time of Day

He sat down next to me on the jump seat. I looked away from the golden and turquoise canopy and into the starry sky of his face.

His feet on the edge of the console, he made me rest my head in his lap so I could gaze up. He brushed my tears away as he began to hum and sing ever so softly. I could feel his song against my cheek, a low rumble building into an achingly beautiful melody.

“Mum used to sing for me when I was sad.”

“It’s very comforting,” I said, reaching up to cup his cheek.


End file.
